10 Things I Have Learned From This Pandemic that Will Be Useful Next Time This Happens

  1. Fancy haircuts are difficult to maintain by yourself, and may look very odd after a month or so.
  2. It really would have been good to go to Trader Joe’s beforehand and buy a carton of cheap wine, because while we don’t usually drink a lot of wine here, for some reason I’ve really been craving it.
  3. Spices are your savior when home-cooking.
  4. Green coffee beans store indefinitely. Maybe bury a stockpile in the backyard against winter. Wait, that’s squirrels.
  5. Pants are the first to go. When stocking up, lay in a few pairs of sweatpants.
  6. Just don’t fucking turn on the news. Just don’t.
  7. It’s useful to be friendly with your neighbors. Except that shitty guy with the chainsaw across the street, who is still cutting wood at 8 AM when he’s not out with his leaf blower.
  8. Things you can make if you have the ingredients: most food.
  9. Things you cannot make even if you have the ingredients: most medicine.
  10. If you bury a bag of bells in Animal Crossing, a money tree will grow.

World Fantasy and Nebula-nominated speculative fiction writer/editor. I read and write a lot.

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